| hey |
[23 Feb 2010|01:44am] |
so not that i think any one even reads my page n e more cause im hardly on here
its something to do
im not working any more
im on unemployment
im single again
and have been for quite some time now
still looking for love
even though everyone tells me to just let it come to me i cant help it
it just happens
im not in my band anymore
i got a speeding ticket and my mom wasnt to happy about it
so yeah
it sucks
up to 11 instruments hope to be at 12 soon possibly even 13
one of my best friends will be comming back from japan weds which i am very excited about
however
another one of my best friends is all the way in cali
which sucks
and i miss her
|
|
| all for you |
[23 Feb 2010|01:34am] |
Sometime
Someday
>you'll be happy that you met me
Always
All day
>you'll be the one for me
I hate the time
In my mind
>because I’m going crazy
Breathe in
Calm down
Breathe out
Slow down
>gimme a chance to break you
Down
With a razor blade ill relieve the pain
Cut a stars veins and let it rain down on you
gimme one night under the moonlight and ill show you how wonderful it'd be
but your eyes look right through me
just like your smile and heart
if only you knew what I would give to be a part
just tell me where to start
ill run the mile or 500 that it takes
to wind up at your door
just so we could be something more
I wanna be in your world
if only you knew how wonderful it could be
With a razor blade ill relieve the pain
Cut a stars veins and let it rain down on you
gimme one night under the moonlight and ill show you how wonderful it'd be
lemme know what you think!
|
|
| murpheys law |
[16 Apr 2008|03:14am] |
|
what if
this time
didnt end with out you?
what if
this time
i made it on my own?
what if
this time
it all gos right but without
you?
its bound to go wrong cause its for me
drowning in my hopes
sunk in too deep
what if
this time
things went right about you?
what if
this time
we take a risk my friend?
what if
this time
we dive right in closed eyes?
what if
this time
you put your heart in mine?
its bound to go wrong cuase its for me
drowning in my hopes
sunk in too deep
what if
this time
i can make you mine? (i couldnt sleep)
|
|
| new |
[25 Mar 2008|10:33pm] |
no control, im falling fast
no control, ill never last
dont know where
dont know why
dont know how or
when ill die
help me now im really lost
an im ready to rip my heart out
i just keep falling back to you
i just keep falling back to you
i wish i had tommorow yesterday
cause now i dont know what to do
should i stay or should i go?
cant compete with others no no
are you better without me?
are you crazy with out me?
are you thinking about me?
will it even show?
help me now im really lost
an im about to rip my heart out
theres nothing to see in me
so you see right through me
could you please rip my heart out?
|
|
| i fell short |
[20 Mar 2008|02:35am] |
|
my eyes are drowning in your decision your decision to make an insiscion by shooting me down with precision nothing hurts more then this vision its all in your face its all in your face if it fades away is it still love? will you be there if push comes to shove? get me out of this whole that i dug please get me out of this love i fell short i fell short i fell short
|
|
| wow |
[06 Mar 2008|12:33am] |
for those of you who havent heard
i talked to sylwia
and to my surpise it felt good
long story short i jsut wanted to hear from her that it wasnt that i wasnt good enough
even though i heard it from everyone else
its different hearing it from her
im back with liz (aka frye)
although im already having doubts again
im starting to think i have serious commitment issues now because of past issues an im truly trying to fight it
kashew thinks i look for the bad in relationships
i think she might be right
i just cant help but think that chances are theres always gonna be someone better for me out there then the person im with
is it wrong that im afraid to settle with these thoughts swirling in my mind?
i feel that im spreading myself too thin with people
this weekend is pretty buisy for me
i plan on drinking until the stress is numb
|
|
|
[19 Feb 2008|07:39pm] |
|
lately life sucks
i have a ukrainian nickel somewhere in my digestive tract
i was single by the end of valentines day
and i havent really been able to drink for about over a month
although i came to terms with some problems that i have been facing
something that i think will help me in relationships to come
i dont like dating around
despite what some people may think due to my apparrent reputation
an really i want is to find love again
but i realized something that i think its pretty easy too look at someone once you knwo them an as long as your being honest with yourself to ask if you could see yourself with them in years to come
instead of lying to yourself an constantly weighing the pros and cons of the relationship your in
which ive realized is somehting i do quite often
the only trick is to hold to it
for lent i gave up women
an sex
sorta like a 40 days an 40 nights thing
to try an clear my head and force myself to think about whats really important
i can only hope it works
|
|
| true |
[17 Jan 2008|12:13pm] |
|
life is for the living
you gotta live to make a killing
you gotta struggle to find something fulfilling
you gotta make love without ceilings
im disconected
overly protected
i wanna be infected
with everything you projected
save me brave me shave me enslave me anythings better than being alone in the darkest depths
in the greatest debt
whats trying to be said
i need to be shed
crippled with a lack of motivation on my back an on going act
of fears being stacked
|
|
|
[03 Dec 2007|08:35am] |
im back
jsut got back from san fransico yesterday morning for those of you who did not know
i went to go visit my causin
hes teaching at a catholic school there
its rally cool
he lives with the brothers in the residence
an its reealy nice
plus he stays there for free, he eats there food, hes got a car there, an they pay for his masters
he jsut teaches there
its wierd seeing my causin as a teacher
but the kids he teaches are really cute
did alot of eating (as always)
an met some of his friends
(his friends from wisconsin were hot!)
id say thats about it
|
|
| why does it bother me? |
[18 Nov 2007|02:17pm] |
Yesterday was great!
I didnt realize i knew so much about cooking
i helped deirdre cook up a small storm
an if i do say so everything came out rather well
how ever i did find out something that bothered me very much yesterday
i couldnt shake the idea out of my head
i ran into an old friend at fernandos which i havent been to for a while
aparently my friend works there
as well he gos to school with my ex
aparently acording to him
she said that shes happy shes did what she did
i hate that hearing something like that can still bother me an so much at that
just on top of the fact that she did that to me she as well she didnt see anything wrong qwith it
as if it was justified by somewthing i did
wtf did i ever do to her?
she's an attention whoring bitch who gets off on the pain of those who she pretends to care about
she is one of the fakest creatures in the exisance of time
christina cacciopo just to let you know shes called you a bitch behind your back, and that you dont deserve joe
but any ways
lately ive been a little sick
i dont feel sick though
i have swollen lymph nodes
ive been taking anti biotics
an i had to take a blood test
where if you know me you know its very hard for me to do
aparently as well i have something up with my liver
ive been trying not to drink an if i do i make sure its noly a beer or two hoping that it gets better
if it doesent within a couple a weeks though im ignoring it an going on as normal
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=88.8){kind=small}
hot4you's journal
